What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
