I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
