I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Rumble strips road head = magical
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
