Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
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