I want to stick my p in your. b.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
