Some milfs here doing some blow
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.