I wish I only lived at night.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
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