physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.