So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
