YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize
