That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...