Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
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Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
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He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't