I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Randomize
