I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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