evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
I use my feet as sexual weapons
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