Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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