Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
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