some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
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