dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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