how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize