At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
She needs sedatives and a leash
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
