it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Randomize
