he thought i was a dude.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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