Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Randomize
