hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Randomize
