There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize