you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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