Umm I'm too high to move.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
