R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize