I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
