Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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