New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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