Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
