Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Randomize
