Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
