laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I just want to make out with him forever
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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