We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Randomize
