what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
