Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
