Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
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There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
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How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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