i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
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