got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
