Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize