Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
So squirting runs in the family.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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