whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
