She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
