you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
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I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
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I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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