so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Randomize
