that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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