I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
