Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
