I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Randomize
