Your dad touched me again.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
