Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
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