i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
