You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
