if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
