im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize