Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
