Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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