You're so nebulous sometimes
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
You're breaking my sexual little heart
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
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