Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
If I die, sorry about rent.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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