i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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