hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
