I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
That's intense
is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
